McDonald’s Introduces the “Bacon and Beef shake” for Customers too Lazy to Chew

Taking the hint from their customers, the fast food giant is introducing an all-liquid menu.   Gerry Kaldon, a McDonald's regular enthused: “When I go out to a restaurant, I don’t want to spend all my time chewing, my jaw muscles get sore. This is just great.  It could do with some more work though; my straw got clogged with bacon grease the last time.”

A Spokebesity for the corporation said. “Doing the work for our customers is what we do best.   Our all-liquid, egg-bun-ham-maple- syrup-sausage breakfast shake, is coming soon.   We’re a demand driven business, and what people are demanding is more saturated fat and less effort.  For our best customers, we’re offering a “Bacon and Beef” pipeline right to their bed, so they don’t even have to dress, let alone chew, to enjoy our…er…great products”