Celebs Embrace Conservative Values: George Clooney Opens “Burn the Rainforest” Rally

The Celebs union, that normally embraces left wing causes, has had a
change of heart. A Spokesnarcissus remarked “It’s easy enough to get people on side when you’re protecting baby seals. Convincing people to support your local oil company, now that’s a real challenge". Launching ‘Musicians for Corporate Tax Breaks’, Bono was overheard saying “Do you think these sheep will us follow down this road? I’d give that a definite maybe. I just need a cooler pair of sun glasses.”

Angelina Jolie, formerly a campaigner for refugees and all things cuddly, was stepping out on the red carpet for ‘Save our Health Insurers’ benefit rally. Justifying support for the closest thing to pure evil corporate America has, she pleaded: “Those poor Health Insurers, aside from Congressbribes and Senatetroughs, no one seems to care about them. It’s about time someone stood up for them. If we don’t, they could be extinct in a few years.. And then…er…who would we have to hate”

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