After his last rambling, two hour speech on Marxism in cement mixing, Hugo Chavez

Promising the long suffering Venezuelan people three hours of himself every night, the  Emperor of monotony remarked: “Those Yankee monsters and their Colombian puppets dare not offend me – or I’ll or I’ll send in our crack squad of socialist bore-o-nauts, to teach them the value of the class struggle in food preparation, or something equally exciting."

The entire nation of Honduras was reported asleep after El Presidente addressed them on the compelling subject of “Hugo, a Jesus of our time, or merely a superman.” Senor Chavez’s ego was reportedly visible from space.