After a terrible week of responding to prayers to “Kill the anti Christ Obama” and “Incinerate abortionists”, from God fearing Americans, HE was reported to be extremely

irritable. The consequences of God’s bad mood for the poor and pious, in Indonesia and Samoa, were disastrous.

God, when asked why he punished very religious countries, and left non believers in Norway and Japan alone, thundered: “They’re always bothering me- “Oh Lord, don’t toast me to a crisp in a volcano, Oh Lord give me a motorbike, Oh Lord don’t drown me in a tsunami” and so on. Couldn’t they just get on with life rather than pestering me all the time? I’ve got better things to do”

When asked what these ‘better things’ might be, God confided: “Well I’m working on a few new diseases, AIDS is like, so last year. I know landslides and floods aren’t very original, but sometimes it’s best to stick with what you know, so I think I’ll organise a few of those. Stay tuned”