World holds its breath as Australia and England hit balls with sticks

The world was on the edge of its collective seat today, wondering who of the traditional rivals could hit a ball with a stick better. Said one professional
commentator: “The game was so lively that some of the audience were awake through several hours of it. Normally we have to come around and poke them, to wake them up for the TV cameras, not today though. Of course that could have something to do with the amphetamines we put in their beer.” 

Sleep researchers around the world have flocked to cricket matches, Said one: “We find the sheer repetitiveness of cricket, lulls our patients into a gentle slumber. The good thing is, if they go to sleep for a day, and wake up, the game will be much the same” 

Cricket supporters defended their sport against charges of crushing boredom: “Not only is there hitting ball with sticks, there is throwing balls at sticks, running, and, most importantly, hanging around waiting. It’s got something for everyone.”

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