Humans not thin enough: Praying Mantis the next top model




Complaining of “unsightly flesh", and the lack of a “sleek , sexy, exoskeleton” major fashion houses in Europe have moved to the insect world to show off their latest
creation. Explained a Spokesvanity: “Though the girls have been trying for years to look like stick insects, let’s face it, they’re not nearly as elegant as the real thing”

It comes as a relief for gossip magazines, as one editor explained “There is only so many ways you can spin a story of a model having sex, or not having sex: taking drugs or not, and make it seem interesting. Mantises are genuinely interesting- Imagine the headlines : ‘Top model in lovers tiff, eats boyfriends head for breakfast’, That sort of thing could only be an improvement on what we’ve been writing so far.”

The ‘Starvation Association’, the human model’s union, responded: “We’re happy to grow antenna, and cover ourselves in chitin, if that’s what it takes to get on the cover of 'Vogue' again."

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