European
heart disease central, Scotland, was today placed on a no-fry list. Any
Scot found to be carrying cooking oil and frying implements will be fed
lettuce without appeal. Lard will be a prohibited import.
Scotland,
home of the deep fried Mars bar and ubiquitous chip-shop, was in deep
mourning for the passing of the fried-everything era. Said one local
graduate of Scot stereotype school, Angus McDiarmid; “Och..Aye..one of
them foreigners tried to feed me salad once, tasted alright after an
hour in the deep fryer."Till now,
Scotland’s economy has been based entirely on grease, tartan and hating
the English. Said the former Scottish secretary for fried food, Ewan
McDonald; “We will have to rebalance our economy by exporting more
tartan and hating the English that bit extra.
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