The
British Police have been granted arrest powers against 'shirt
hooligans'. The Home Secretary commented, “For too long our towns have ;) suffered
the scourge of bright pink, polyester shirts searing the eyeballs of
pensioners. The few remaining teenagers not subject to control orders,
or hiding under hoodies, seem to be doing their best to taunt us with
lime green sleeves and hideous teal and red piping. We say enough! Let
our streets be free of these textile abominations!”When prodded
by a journalist, that maybe the Government was passing laws
indiscriminately, the minister remarked, “I think you’ll all agree, the
new 'Execution of the Media for Asking Awkward Questions Bill', is a
step too far,” here he paused ominously, then continued, “for now”.Other
bills to be considered by parliament include the 'Sanctions for Poorly
Cut Fingernails Legislation', the 'Lock Up all Teenagers that Look
Suspicious Initiative', and the 'Regulation of Garden Gnome Placement
Agenda'.
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