Putin announces Merger of Russian Government and the Mafia: The Ruffia


Emperor Putin of Russia and Giuseppe Corleone today announced the merger of their two organisations.  A spokespistol for the new combined mob, the Ruffia, said. ”We’ve long had the same methods, an assassination here, a dab of extortion there, a little diversion of taxes to our friends.  We’re two organisations, but one mind.”

The Russ part of the Ruffia brings an entire army for enforcement, whereas, the Mafia could teach the old Russians a thing or two about running a business, and subtlety, Mr Corleone remarked “Shooting an airline down, and invading a country, I mean, what happened to finesse? And sometimes maybe it’s easier to get your money from say, heroin dealing, than trashing an entire nation.”

When Emperor Putin was asked about rumours he was angling for the title of capo dei capi (Godfather) of the Ruffia, he remarked; “Nice country you’ve got there, pity if someone broke it, by, oh I dunno, accidentally nuking it.  That would be a real tragedy, wouldn’t it?” 

The Ruffian minister for Invasion, Sergei "Fingers" Larentov, added: "You really should join our club, the Eurasian Union. Ukraine didn't join our club, and now they're all broken.  You wouldn't want that happening to you, now would you."


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