Though the US has the worst health system in the developed world,

several thousand people marched on Washington to demand it get worse. “More power to Pfizer!!” Shouted one, “Death to the uninsured”, shouted another. Uniting under the banner “Insane Americans for a Shorter Lifespan” a motley agglomeration of evangelicals, survivalists and people not at all paid by HMO’s, they were accompanied by a crack squad of psychiatrists.

A spokespot for the group, the Reverend Glaxo-Smith-Kline-Beecham, explained their philosophy: “If the poor can get healthcare- we’re no better than communists. Health care for all, really means Satan in your bedroom, and a life size likeness of Obama to worship in your house. Mark my words, if Americans aren’t scared about what happens when they’re sick, gun control and compulsory incest can’t be far behind. It stands to reason.”