League of Paranoid Parents: “Toaster use can lead to violence/AIDS”

Fresh from their crusade against video games, mobile phones, rock music, and openoed shoes (they lead to hard drugs, apparently), the league has set its sights on
the moral misery caused by toast abuse.

One of the league complained, “Timothy used to be a sweet boy, but since he’s been hanging out with his toaster using friends, he just doesn’t show us the respect he used to. Just the other night I was explaining how he’d end up as Satan’s plaything if he used video games, and he sniggered. That shows how quickly evil can spread from grilled bread.” 

Timothy replied: “The toaster is about the only piece of technology left in the house, after mum sprinkled holy water on the computer and dad exorcised the DVD player with a hammer.”

Tomorrow’s Daily Mail headline ‘Save our Youth from Toaster Torment’

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