Anti Vaxers unmasked: “In the pay of Big Pharma to make vaccines look good”

The truth can now be told, Anti Vaccine campaigners have been in the
pay of Pfizer all along. A Spokestablet for the company admitted, “We thought you’d suspect. After all, they (the anti vaxers) are always going on about government conspiracies and the terrible danger of sodium chloride to breast milk. We even got them to say vaccines were a socialist plot to wipe out motherhood. We thought we’d gone too far that time.

It turns out the most ridiculous things we dream up aren’t ridiculous enough. When it comes to anti vaxers no matter what we get them to say, people still believe them. That’s why we’re coming clean. A pity really, our next campaign for them was ‘Vaccines: Ten devils in every hypodermic’ with a follow up ‘Vaccines: Administered by vampires to suck out your soul’”

A recently unmasked big Pharma anti-vaxer, Johann, reflected on his time campaigning “Some of the believers we got at our rallies were scary. They’d say things like. ‘I’d rather have smallpox than alien mind control viruses.’ or ‘I don’t care if my daughter gets cancer, it’s better than polluting her body with vaccine-daemons’. Geez, Me, I’d rather have Swine flu than five more minutes alone in a room with them. They just don’t pay me enough to deal with these…um…individuals’

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